Huh. In those cases, if I have to eat around those people, I spend a LOT of time getting up to use the bathroom, flitting around the room to tidy/wash dishes, and otherwise avoiding and noise-covering as covertly as possible until it ends.). Its tough to diagnose on your own, Dr. Reisman says. But its not just adjustingits spending a fair whack of money on new products, an expense that can be a considerable burden at some income levels. My coworker was just a bully. It still may after a reasonable test end up being something about the OP. I have encountered commenters, here and on Corporette, who fully believe that scent free is the way to be, and that the world would be better if everyone cut scented products out of their lives. Sorry, but no. You can smell her a mile away. This is whats confusing me about these suggestions too. Colloquially, anything scented you use for the scent (and not to wash, etc) is commonly referred to as perfume. I still loved bourbon but I could not drink Jack for 20 years. Maybe she got it confused with lemongrass? I'm glad she's miserable about being single. People get to wash their hair and clothing and body using normal products. About a month ago, one of my coworkers told me that the perfume I was wearing bothered her. She might be unwittingly attributing what she smells to you for the simple reason your scents bothered her. Most people have told me that they cant smell my scents at all, unless theyre like actively sticking their nose in the crook of my elbow or something. I totally agree I know the OP is trying to do her best, and is frustrated about where this could be coming from. Shes done more than is reasonable. I've developed some really unhealthy hostile feelings about people that trigger my misphonia daily. They offered her a new seat not situated in the middle of the office. Take AAMs suggestions to speak to Manager or to take it to HR and see what kind of reaction you get. Reactions like these to normal everyday stimuli, and those of Firebolt below, are extreme. My conditions have all been verified by multiple doctors and specialists.). Sigh. This is why Im scared to take up perfume, for fear of being 80 and having a personal cloud of smell. I still cant eat creme brulee. I never heard of that, but I totally get it. I remember being at a conference and requesting that the organizers make some sort of announcement asking people not to spray perfume in the conference areas. When they are attracted to you, in a romantic and sincere way, you sense that you are wanted, needed, and special. And they find a way to deal with that.because they cant control it. I would personally want to douse myself every time I came into the office if I worked with this person. But I need you to stop the constant comments about me., 3. Continuous sinus nose pressure after 2nd child? No one likes the idea of others wondering if they shower properly. Now that Im older, Im having issues with strong floral scents. Preempt HR. If her coworkers sensitivity is that acute, it is up to management to arrange that shes isolated from scents that bother her, not up to her coworkers to arrange their entire lives around it). We havent had any disagreements about politics, pop culture or anything to make her suddenly dislike me. I used to use an incense in my apartment and didnt realize how it clung until I started to get compliments on my perfume. I wonder if OP has tried washing her clothes with a diluted vinegar mix? There's a new guy at work, he's been here for about a month, he sits opposite me and is driving me insane already. Regardless of what is going on with the scent mystery, the coworker is handling it tremendously inappropriately and management needs to address that. Suggest management isolate her if living in the world is too much for her once accommodations have already been made and she wont. If your clothes are synthetic, that could be the culprit. Yeah. Patchouli is a STRONG scent. Sorry you are going through this. Copyright 2007 - 2023 Ask A Manager. (Especially since you cant actually smell it unless you are sniffing my head, and no one at work has any business sniffing my head. He might like you and love to see you every day. I cant pinpoint the source, but they have a very distinct smell. Does anyone have answer. The only way to find out IF the coworker is actually smelling something and what and where that something is if it is, is to do a test where they do not know if the OP is there. This. As someone who doesnt use any scented products, I can say that any smells I come across seem to linger longer for me than most people since its now such a shock to my system. Other commenters have made some potentially useful suggestions about other sources of scent; however, my reading of this is that your coworker is being a jerk. Several of the ingredients they use are irritants to lungs and eyes, several others are known allergens, and some of them are linked to neurotoxicity. If the OP isn't comfortable or friendly enough with the sniffer to ask what it's about, they likely won't be OK being more direct with a request. Oils, especially, can seep into fabric and smell forever, even though you are no longer wearing scented products. At least nowadays you can attend virtually if youre that sensitive. OP, it sounds like your coworker is just a jerk. But scent contamination can come from many things, often small things. I found a great hand cream that is lavender scented. I think it becomes a way to get attention, vent frustration, or just ensure that others are as miserable as the complainer. I think considerate coworkers like you should do what they can to help out other coworkers, but at the same time, you shouldnt have to give up something you enjoy using in your free time because of a work conflict. I have the worst reaction to it myself. Any chance it could be a shampoo/conditioner/other hair product? This may be snarky.but perhaps the coworker could simply rub a bit of Vicks Vapor Rub just above her upper lip. I meant no offense and should have not used the word disgust. My jacket? If thats the case, theres likely nothing anyone can do about it. Scent memory is powerful. * Shes a jerk. I can tell you, its really hard for me not to come across as rude. Move there. I once had to use a scented detergent on my clothes because we were out of unscented. Used only a little, but it took four washes to get most of the scent out of my clothing. (And even if she werent, the co-worker is clearly going about this the wrong way!). Not sure if she has a medical condition though or she just doesnt wear deodorant/antiperspirant. If coworker needs an accommodation they need to ask for it, and they cannot be permitted to continue to be snarky about it and rude. * Supplements can seep through skin causing prominent body odors. everyone think it is and I try to stop but its every minuet I sniff. if you have to entirely eradicate any scent you may have and completely alter your lifestyle in your own home and on your own time to accommodate someone else thats pretty unreasonable. She had her unit say it was me. Had any luck? . At least she would actually SEE you trying something and, who knows, it might take care of any lingering scents. I will ask do you still use your perfume on the weekends? I dont know if its the food they eat (not curry or garlic) or what, but they smell like Home Country when they visit America. Asking them not to apply perfume before work, is one thing, to alter their personal life by buying two sets of products or not lighting scented candles in the bedroom or not cooking with curry or garlic or whatever. Its really difficult to calmly sit with the person attached to that trigger and explain whats happening. Dont wear it to work is really reasonable, but asking someone to never use it is not like you said, there are other scents that are also hated by some. Thank you, Ill suggest that to my manager! I hesitated, but in the end, I just couldnt ride in such a small box with him smelling like that. So one day I stopped accommodating completely. Negatively challenge your work or attack your work values in the office. But it also brings up the question of why the coworker all of a sudden has fragrance sensitivities if last month was the first time it was brought up. Oh, thats a really good observation. It might help if the coworker could associate a different scent than the patchouli. I think that it might be another coworker or it could be the scent from a product used to clean the office. I am all about being considerate to the people around you, but Im having a hard time with this one too, because I agree that no one should be expected to change their home/weekend habits and change up all their products to accommodate a coworker. The only scent mnemonics that lemon ever hits for me are dish soap and hard candies! The OP already did the reasonable thingsshe stopped wearing perfume and scented oils, she switched to mainly fragrance-free cleaning products, and as far as we know she doesnt even have anything around that smells like patchouli. You could even put a few around the office so it looks like it was an office admin that did it. The ones made with essential oils seem OK, its the more chemical created scents. The fragrances usually smell pretty to me, but trigger migraines nonetheless. I was thinking that too. I was thinking that too. Let me tell you, African women, French women and certain Asian women wear perfume when they are out in public. Its not so bad, really, to catch a whiff here or there, but a lot of patchouli is in the form of oil, which makes it even more concentrated and in your face. Its not ultra cheap, but is around $10 for 32 oz. I will sometimes start to smell a certain scent that I associate heavily with a person when Im on the phone with him. What she doesn't know is that I love to sniff all her friends shoes. But I agree, thats not what this thread should focus on. I know you cant do it, because itd be hard to make it fly, but Id love to blindfold that coworker and have them walk around and see what they smell where. I guess people who are sensitive to it can smell it long after use. The exaggerated sniffing definitely sounds like she is just being a pain. I suspect thats why he found me attractive :-). *grin*. (LW, you have been so funny in the comments) If shes that sensitive, she needs to work with HR on accommodations anyway, as random salespeople and customers are going to cause her serious trouble. (I generally do use some sort of rub but if Im lazy thats fine.) Even cotton! Id be very hungry around someone who smelled like cookies, but its not an unpleasant scent at all! If its at the point where its only popping up twice over a few months, and your coworker is upset that you keep bringing it up because she feels shes addressed it, it seems like your coworker has done what she can and it would be a good idea not to bring it up with her anymore. Talk about getting off topic . I kind of had the same thought because in my city theres definitely a racial correlation. I try and blow my nose, and when Im alone in the rest room, I even pick it to try and clear it out. For the people who dislike it or for whom it is an unexpected smell, it is hated. I thought he did it brilliantly well even though it was a tough thing. Policy. I agree with Alisons advice all around, I just had one other scent-source to consider do you perhaps use any home air fresheners or diffusers? I am sensitive to fragrance. With my coworker, it gets bad every few weeks. Maybe at one point she noticed a particular scent OP used to wear and now smells even lingering traces that no one else would be able to smell. For a while I was attending a conference that made that request. OP, I think you can let yourself off the hook at this point. Its tough to describe. I was offering it up as a suggestions just because if it were me Id be curious. If she had a genuine allergy, would she not also be having a genuine allergic reaction? (Sometimes I feel like a hypochondriac, since I have so many medical conditions, but I swear Im not! I used to prefer white wine to red. Yeah, this is a good point. I think the OP has already gone above and beyond, but it wouldnt be a bad idea to dot the remaining is and cross the remaining ts (air fresheners at home, in public restrooms, or in the car, dryer sheets, etc. Sowhat the OP might consider doing is going to her boss (assuming the boss is reasonable) and saying something like, Ive tried very hard to work with Coworker regarding her scent sensitivity. I also had the thought that the coworker is trying to pick on OP with the smelly hippie stereotype. ? I worked with someone who really didnt like one of our co-workers so she was constantly making mean comments about this person scent and appearance. I completely agree. You might have to accept it for now, since you cant reasonably ask her not to wear her favorite perfume on dinner dates, nor can anyone else dictate her showering schedule for her. Even if there is some light scent hanging around (due to her conditioner or whatever) thats pretty normal. Im not going to never use it ever because of that. I know my winter parka can definitely retain scents in the fur on the hood, so it might be something like that transferring scents? Oh trust me, I've been trying to get a private office for years. It's driving me crazy at times. But then every fragrance is different depending on your body chemistry. I will stop wearing perfume for a coworkers benefit; I am not going to change my detergent, stop using my preferred soap, stop using lotion, stop using scented candles/incense/whatever around my own home or replace my furniture or clothing. It's reached the point where it feels like juvenile bullying and I honestly don't know what to do. Morning all. Honestly, if my workplace required that I stop using scents on my body, I would have a big problem with it. People smell a certain way. And if the coworker isnt asking every single person in the office to eliminate scents of all types, it seems clear to me that this is less of a fragrance issue and more of a my coworker is a jerk issue. All the advice about deep cleaning all bedding and coats and switching detergents and shampoos and the like is baffling. I dont think she ever wore patchouli, so maybe the scarf picked up the smell from the artist or the store where she bought it. I dont wear the one perfume I own (which is very light and solid perfume so I can wear a very small amount) to work because I dont want to disturb coworkers. I had a similar experience with vodka in collegetook my 4-5 years to not start getting queasy at the sight of a bottle. However, genuine allergic reactions arent necessarily going to manifest in front of their sourceits not all doubling over in the moment. OP, Im someone who doesnt always do well with strong scents, and I think your coworker is acting like a jerk. Im incredibly sensitive to both man-made and natural fragrances. Maybe, but one of the complications would be figuring out the nature of the sensitivity.. Shes never complained before now about my perfume, and Im sure she would mention if she was having health issues based on it. I had a co-worker who used it and one day I gave her a ride to a work function and my car smelled like patchouli until the day I traded it in, especially on hot summer days at 5:05pm. YES! . It just seems to cross a boundary of reasonableness. Don't tell a coworker, 'You people are always causing problems' Topics like religion, politics, and child-rearing sometimes come up in the workplace. That doesnt keep the other odors from actually entering, though; it just overpowers them. Im worried that there might be an underlying medical issue. And then walk away. I am 30 years old and I have been told that I sniff constently in my sleep. Even the most proper person has burped and sniffed on occasion; because these are common bodily functions, it's impossible to completely avoid doing them. However, the color protecting haircare products I use have a smell, and Id be salty about discontinuing them because my color would fade a lot faster without them. There was actually a study done a while ago that found that a lot of people with sensitivities to fragrance actually had psychosomatic sensitivities. Sniffle. Yes. Frankly I am sick of it. Unfortunately, it made my office mate sneeze, and similarly to your coworker, he was sensitive to it. Whether or not the coworker has a sensitivity, her behavior is way inappropriate. If your office is small, and earbuds and relocation are not an option, you should discuss your frustration with your manager, who may or may not bring your coworker into the discussion to explain. And then do that, because its reasonable for you not to want to be subjected to this. They were everywhere. I would go to HR myself and complain that I am being harassed by a co-worker who in spite of your having ended wearing the perfume that bothered her is waging a campaign of harassment against you. I now have refused being singled out. The coworker is the problem here. that are much more reasonable than making an entire office change routines and buy completely new products. IE you can spray Febreeze but by gods let me know so I stay out of the place for a half hour or more so the scent carrier dissipates. I ended up leaving for another job. I went through a brief patchouli phase in my late teens. The OP is probably very used to it, and if the coworker is very sensitive, I can see where he or she might think it was still being used. BTW, I always carry surgical masks and charcoal filters with me. I feel like the LW has done more than enough to ensure that they dont smell strongly at work and that this coworker is being unreasonable and rude. The best way to drown somebody out without breaking your eardrums or losing your concentration is to use some white noise. Its not workable. He complained for months after we stopped using the detergent that we smelled like patchouli. Its almost impossible to smell like nothing at all throughout the day. If the colleague continues, especially in a loud, unrestrained manner, consider making a complaint to your manager or human resources department. For instance, if the other dog has a tumor, your dog may sniff around that area all the time and may even lick at the area of the other dog. One of the things that sets me off at first is if I can taste the scent, that chemical taste in the back of my throat is an instant major asthma attack. Smells sink into our brain and memory and association in a way almost nothing else does. I bake a lot and once had a coworker complain about my perfume, which was actually the fact that my house tends to smell like cookies! I am so so sorry. Oh no! 5 again? Often I come across as rude, and I sincerely dont mean it. Its like the difference between having a smoke-free workplace and demanding that employees not smoke at home. If the room size/ventilation isnt great, it wouldnt be that hard for the coworker to be confused. Exactly my thought. Sometimes I notice smells will stick around for a few days, even after I have showered. Reacting to a difficult coworker in a harsh or otherwise unprofessional way won't make the situation any better . OP, could that be the source? I switched to unscented laundry stuff, shampoo, body wash and antiperspirant but the complaints continued. I knew I hadnt worn it in ages but upon closer inspection we were able to confirm the smell was coming from my leather jacket. If I was told to not ever use it again in my personal life because it was bothering someone at work, Id be mighty peeved off. While a coworker may undermine you at work because of any . Its really hard not to come across as rude. One, about patchouli just dont. But never together in a million years. The cuffs absolutely did smell like patchouli but I had gone nose blind to it. Shes definitely being annoying about it, but its possible she doesnt work in close proximity with anyone else for it to be an issue. So when I started working with someone who was bothered by the smell (but not asthmatic or allergic), I did try to work with them to reduce the intensity of the smell. "It was like ripping a plaster off.Could you tackle the sniffing in a similar way? The office could have other environmental factors that are actually causing coworkers issues- like dirt in carpets or something. I wouldnt wish that on anyone. Ugh, this. Ive had this happen with arm rests and scented lotions. Ha ha ha! Bring the complainer to her house to show that there are no more scented products? Same with strawberry shortcake and popcorn. Flash forward another month later, she accused me of wearing perfume. 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