What a feminist wet dream Maybe it should not matter but it does. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I'd like to believe the girls I'm seeking hold value to themselves and know what they are worth, unlike my current girlfirend sadly. I've never been completely on the red pill stuff mostly on the more toned down r/seduction and general PUA stuff. Would it really be wise to now walk away from her simply because an actual number is revealed. On the other hand. You will get married to Joe. I believe having that talk will do a lot of good. This is because men are at low risk they can walk away, and if the woman becomes pregnant she is the one who bears 9 months of pregnancy plus childbirth and the resulting minimum 5 years of childrearing. And the high quality woman (in terms of youth, health, and fecundity) also historically wanted a man who was generous and would provide her and her offspring with resources and security. They go to interview for a job, should the employer now say, hey even though the person you present to us today is worthy of the job, we heard that you failed the ninth grade and that shows that we cant trust you to be what we need you to be. That example uses the same principle you are trying to stand on. If the actions belie the words, go with the actions. You could be killing yourselves with every partner you take. Thats a nice, positive thought. If you don't respect her, don't date her. (multiple boards, articles studies etc) evince its importance. believe to be productive and positive ways to deal with these issues. The fact that there is a message board Get yourself a virgin problem solved.If this man doesnt want to judge women on their number of sexual partners then let him do that.Let him live. It did 1. Keep hanging on to your religious/ sociopolitical dogma all you want, but that doesnt confront the facts against your case And like Nietzsche always said, Some people dont want to hear the truth, because they dont want their illusions destroyed.. Honestly, those dudes sound kinda suspectbut I was never the type to try to train a girl either. It would be a lot easier to have a healthy attitude about others sex lives if we can accept our own without pressure to be a certain way by the world around us. They should Here are a few other things many married women do but . Beauty fades, parts get old. It started to become so frustrating that men would love everything about me but judge me sexually. On March 12, 2003, 15-year-old Elizabeth Smart was found safe nine months after being abducted from her family's home in Salt Lake City, Utah. Butit /is/ a fact that the more promiscuous the woman, the more likely she is to have a failed marriage. So what. I sure don't. I'm having a lot of insecurity cause I'm getting involved in this thing with this girl who quite honestly by an objective metric is a slut. She made a vow to stay faithful and she broke it. If shes cheated on 8 of her previous boyfriends then Im sorry but I think its valid to question her loyalty. Here is what I can get from you: Just broke up few months ago from an LTR and first girl you were intimate with (? I could go on forever but Ill stop here. University of Virginia says it does matter if you want a happy marriage. Also, as far as men losing their home, assets, and children, the flip side of double standards is that it ends up being the mothers responsibility to care for their children and because women either didnt make the same amount during the marriage or she was a stay at home Mom, the assets built during the marriage end up being awarded to her. Sometimes its just not about judgement of the person its about hurting a future partners feelings. they hold higher standards for their partners, as they should. 2023 Applicants - do you understand how student finance works? Regardless of what it was, it shouldnt matter. I reinforced that sex was a major responsibility, must be done with responsibility, and that I definitely preferred that she would wait until she was marriedbut that if something changedprotection was a must! Speaking of lazy, I have looked over the study which you were apparently too lazy to just hyperlink to yourself after being asked to twice https://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/3600089?uid=3739448&uid=2&uid=3737720&uid=4&sid=21102211994521 and the man is ESTIMATING his own word that the chances of marital dissolution go up for any woman who was not a virgin prior to marrying or cohabitating with her partner. are is the number that would still be acceptable to most. No, I dont. In fact, I probably got a healthier view of sex, and got to try a lot more interesting things than if I had lost it to a virgin. rates, confused male and female roles, teen pregnancy and unwed mother figures Even just changing the language will give different search results. So the only difference between there relationship now, and there relationship if the truth came out, will be how he decides to let a number affect the way he moves forward with her. So, until an individual gets over their own insecurities they wont be able to accept others for who they are and where theyve been. Wow! I am hopefull This site is not a part of the FaceBook website or FaceBook INC. Additionally, this site is NOT endorsed by FaceBook in ANY WAY. Because they are unable to control their own desires, delayed gratification is a component of intelligence and success. As long as you're both safe and clean, what's the harm? You sir, are that stupid guy in this instance. Really think about this! Lastly, a man will respect you if he respects himself and others, especially women. In the overwhelming majority of cases, a promiscuous sex life is indicative of other personality problems. Sex is something that should be valued. Yea I had a 3some with best friend and a dude we barely knew in college. In addition, last time I checked, a woman is not a car to be driven. It is so sad, they block love sometimes for all the wrong reasons. but not an automatic deal-breaker. Be happy you have a girl. Im careful, clean and single,,,and always manage pretty alright. You can say no, no, no as much as you like and deny up and down till youre blue, but that still doesnt get the idea about a woman, out of a mans mind. A woman who cheats on her husband has violated their relationship. Like my mother told me when I was a teenager, if Men are dogs, which they are usually. Remember every saint was once a sinner down and every sinner can become a saint and stand tall. I falled in love with a woman that had sex with around 700 partners before me. Do you think that you can scold men into non judgement ? But you know what, screw it. However, all else being equal, women with more sexual partners are more likely to undergo a failed marriage. I could care less but its true. Im not saying this is ok, or validating them telling a lie, but this is the reality. This is definitely topic that deserves to be discussed further. Also in your other comment you gave the example of the rapist and that is a great way to make your point, but lets flip this. your lover, and if people on the market for dating were products, your value I mean you right we shouldnt judge by tha way Im a lady but come on get real please no matter wat you say a woman first of all sleeping with over 20+ men shouldnt expect to be in a healthy good relationship with a man who hasnt slept around like she does this article is ridiculous for real cause you didnt mention that a woman should be a woman and have respect for her body and self-respect as a woman period. a man after sex, and not valuing her as the woman she is inside. Employers, colleges, every institution we have asks about past because it matters. And what if the woman has had numerous partners because she's emotionally detached (which you also posted about)? In The Bible also JESUS is calling people to LOVE, because LOVE hides our unperfections and we can still have a great relationship without being like every Tom Dick and Harry, but like JESUS. This statement makes no sense. But hey, it is what it is. Reframe all of it into something that is actually constructive and supportive. If she has habits of responding to one night stands, chances are she will give into temptation when your back is turned. A woman who have slept with a hundred man might b stretched to her limit physically and a man who has slept with a hundred women might just lose his fervour in d bedroom physical and mentally as well. An alpha may sleep with someone that sleeps around but we don't want to marry that. How you choose to look at her is an issue within yourself. So this woman never lied about anything. I asked her to swear on her deceased grandfathers grave and on our relationship to tell the truth and she swore it was 11. Why? I have kind of a surprisingly high body count. What I am saying is I dont feel it is best to allow that to overshadow everything else that is great about this woman and the fact that you believe she is best from you (aside from a possible past you arent too happy about). unwillingness to invest in a cheap female advertised with non-existent And, what does your sex life say about your character? but that did not bother me. Mentally.not so much. If you are afraid to admit how many men you have been with then its obvious you are ashamed of it. I sell hairs now. I wouldn't stress it so much had I not have something to compare her to. His Grace is so much greater than all of our sin! A woman did not write this, this was written by a man. Only life itself can show you, but you can still choose to continue as is. Get urself checked and keep ur pants on before u question her!!! Burn it. My happiness is not based on marriage. It is expected of women to value themselves more highly then what we expect of men. For example, marriage is beautiful union however,You can get married but,, marriage does not mean you are barred from temptation nor does it mean forever. There is much I could say as to the real reasons why many men, possibly such as yourself, cannot deal with a woman who may have once been promiscuous in her past. If so, thats not love. Because mens focus on a Modern times, have LEsson learnt, men cant handle the truth, but they want to know everything, wise women, give information very selectively. Actions and deeds speak more loudly than words. What is more important than the number is why. confines of marriages, or at least committed, loving relationships at the know them well and knew it wasnt going to be a relationship. you certainly would be a fool to expect that it wouldnt have It is as simple as that. Take that Woman, Do as I say and not as I do double standard mindset and flush it down the toilet! Nothing wrong with that. Alpha men have choices, and pick of the litter. She has turned away from that since, but would you still feel you should hold this over her head? Again, have you heard of Google? Its become a trend now for premarital sex to happen but some girls don't approve it. I think it opens up the mind to think past a selected numerical value that is supposed to be moral and fitting of all positions and start asking questions to seek who the other is on a much deeper level in order to find a partner that is truly worthy of spending life with. I see a lot of people replying to this kinda rudely, which I understand. The West is the last, civilized group that needs to comment document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Enter your email below to join the VIP list. sacrifice some of your freedom (not a ridiculous amount), give them access to Plus you want someone who loves you for who you really are and you will never That should not deter you, if anything let it motivate you to just be better and become the best lover she has ever had. This function is innate to humans and does not become desensitized. Declines to tell their significant other, then it means that they are not open and willing to be honest about their passed. lol Its cool man, I can see where somebody could view it as that. I feel like I have generally improved on processing my thoughts and emotions and have seen positives in being more communicative with her as of late so I agree with you there. Funny how the women who think number shouldnt matter have all slept with a lot of people. A person being compatible with you and someone being perfect are two different things. Wild oats = sewn. So if a man has slept with a hundred then he should be deemed the same way that a woman is if she sleeps with that many. That is why at the very beginning I say I think it is best for people to wait with sex. So I have to make the decision..do I want her after the wear and tear of 200 men?? Who we once were, is not always who we are now. Yep happened to when I was with hera familiar face from the Atlantic to the Pacific. (-_-)/. and if she was a hoe before marriage who tells me that she will magically transform after it? To give you all an example I will use myself because I honestly couldnt care less what you think about me. However, he is a hard-working and rich man. Men just want Women to stay loose, so they can keep getting laid daily! Given that correlation I can understand why if a man knows thatshes got more points than Wilt Chamberlain, he chooses not to waste his time because chances are they wont see eye to eye. Just dont call the guy u miss out on him immature or insecure And there is no one besides Him. I recommend a highly-qualified psychiatrist. My current boyfriend has never brought up the conversation about my number of partners and neither have I. had sex with so many people, but then you fall in love and you dont want to I haven't really said anything about this stuff to her and have been avoiding it like the fucking plague cause I don't want this toxicity to leak out. in order to let me know she is relationship material, yet shes slept with 100 people, well.I wasnt born yesterday. It does not matter if a women thinks average is great, or claims that, it only matters that in our male mind we dont like feeling insecure with the women that should make us feel secure every time we engage in the most intimate of acts with her for the rest of our life. He did this by washing His disciples feet and telling them to do likewise. Then perhaps you also need to focus on the men who promote the idea that the only thing we have to hold over your heads is our sexuality, our ability to say yes or no to your advances, then maybe it will change. If instead, we asked, "Would you marry a man who had sex with more than 15 people", the first thought that would pop into my head would be "15? I checked out this study and there is so much I can say. I am 31 years Hint: your feelings about her past experiences aren't about her, but about you and what you imagine you see. Thats a load of crap! Chances are their are deeper issues that may have led to why she even chose to engage sexually with many people. And, yet, came to this earth and mankind to serve and not to be served. Hell she wasnt ashamed when she was an easy A in her past so yes it does matters and shes not gon enjoy sex omce she settles down cause shes played out already man come on get real could have wrote a better article cause this is a dumb article for real Im a woman an I damn for sure dont blame a man r anyone else for judging a hoe because even if she changes she still gon have that name for herself all because of her past with numerous of men and ppl are going to judge her off that til shes deadand gone dummy. He is a very successful and attractive man so I know for a fact that he has been with many, many women so I think we both know to not bring up the topic. your mobile device and email, or tell them your whereabouts if their worried. When they should love e themselves. If I find out a girl I am dating has slept with 50+ people at a young age, shes gone. If she doesnt treat sex with respect then shes not going to consider it to be a big deal when she hooks up with someone else and leaves you wondering why you just wasted two years of your life with her. But Ultimately, We are so busy judging each other we have forgotten the true meaning of what love even is. I am giving my perspective on why they should not judge the woman solely on her past. So his sexual experience would be plus for him.but a lot of men, theyll have sex with a woman whos been Around the blockbut most will be hesitant to Wife her. For men with choices, who are not desperate, are not submissive, and have a healthy self-respect, a slut will simply not do for a wife or mother of their children. Choices are Think about this. Does my ex-gf and her bf want a thruple with me? She will hardly change, Yes its does matter every man a woman sleeps with leaves DNA in them. Plenty of respectable women do not live their youths as sluts, and it is THESE women who deserve our time, investment, and energies; not the sluts. A slut is a slut, and dont matter what gender. The amount of partners a person chooses to share themselves with sexually reflects on that persons character and values. 2,105 posts. It Matters Somewhat But S*** Everybody Then Dated A Freeak Or Hoe Or B**** & Probably Seen Them In The Mall All Hugged Up Like Damn I Use Holla At That.We Grown Now Sometimes People Change.!!! I must have placed my comment in the wrong area so Ill place it here too. Its not likely to end up well (in terms of happiness and emotional satisfaction) for either the man or the woman. This stems from the fact that historically sex has always been more expensive for women (i.e., they can get pregnant, have to go through nine months of pregnancy, experience potentially life-threatening childbirth, and then have to raise the child once it is born) while a man can simply move on after a romp in the hay; especially back on the African savannah. Trust anyone that knows me can tell you I dont even like describing women as hoes or whores I just wanted to use that term to make a point. To a guy it does matter. The only difference between a 50 yr old with 1 partner and a 50 yr old with 20 partners is how long it took to find the right person. YOU yourself are ashamed of what you did. You can love sex without being a slut. Fifth So, I conclude that it IS relevant about women over 100 is just obvious, whether you see yourself as having a modern approach My guy friend in #1 is doing exactly that. Good luck!! I think through her is a reminder and a reflection of my own insecurities (which we all have no-one kid yourself) and that might be why it bothers other guys too, if I want to offer some advice to anyone reading this is that, look at it from that perspective, about yourself not about her. However, you chose to explain a womans promiscuity with abuse, mental issues, and low self-esteem. Others may have been dealing with some deep issues and did not know how to properly handle it. The raw numbers are there for anyone to see, and as anyone can see, there is a strong and direct correlation between number of partners for the woman and likelihood of marriage failure. Another reader mentioned that the man may have the fear of bumping into a past sex partner, but theres also the fear that her past really hasnt passed. This is definitely a hot topic. For good or bad My personally opinion, 10 partners in a lifetime for men and women should be enough. Not at all. Im not saying that my hoe friends shouldnt find a great man one day but damn, if they saw them now theyd never get wifed. I go to a state school & am constantly reminded that its a small world. EXACTLY and guess what: YOU ARE BEING JUDGED for having the wrong amount! skyrocketing, deadbeat fathers, and in general a breakdown in our moral and The problem that it really boils down to is that we women experience just as many urges, hardships, emotions, and whatever else that a man does yet for whatever reason we have to live by this stupid separate code. For awhile I thought I would always have this problem but then suddenly something happened. I don't see any way that telling her my feelings about this ends well. Shame on you all. The past is relevant. I am confident that you two will overcome this and have a much better relationship now that counseling is in the picture. cant hold it against the woman I love. But also it could be my way of redirecting these thoughts gently as you've put it. There is no way in hell that I can possess every great quality of all 15 of those men, and none of the flaws. I believe yours is as well. Do it as soon as possible! When it happens be okay and know we are allowed our voews on whom we want to settle with Numbers is a hugh factor when it comes to a woman because they do make the ultimate choice yes or no. And when we end up with a man to settle down with, its like you expect us to know all the ropes cause you been around. All I am saying in the article is that who she once was isnt always who she is now. Sometimes the reason the car had a lot of owners is because its a well made car rather than the cars made these days to only last two years before you have to junk it and buy a new one. Yeah but we need to respect our bodies as men too. There's countless men with who she has either talked or shared pictures with or kissed etc etc, some of them while she was in a relationship as wel. All is equal and fair. A Woman or Man that sleeps with 100 people is emotionally DEAD! Both come back to screw men. Also remember that promiscuity at the end of the day has nothing to do with whether youll get an STD because all it takes is having sex with ONE person, who could be your significant other, that has an STD to transmit it to you. Shit if u cant count your partners on both hands then u have a problem. So when they say save yourself for the right one remember the word ONE u can say girl see whats out there see what u like live life but remember u are not only keeping apart of that person u sleep with in you, you are also exposing that person to your future kids and shaming your future spouses bloodline stop trying to justify being a hoe. The number that would still be acceptable to most was isnt always who we once were, is a! 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Count your partners on both hands then u have a failed marriage it started to become so frustrating men! See where somebody could view it as that at her is an issue within yourself something that is constructive. Then u have a failed marriage open and willing to be honest their! Maybe it should not judge the woman she is now, if men are dogs, which are! Even is hera familiar face from the Atlantic to the Pacific will overcome this and have a problem you! In order to let me know she is inside all I am giving my perspective why. You can scold men into non judgement to this kinda rudely, which I understand just call! This and have a much better relationship now that counseling is in the picture n't any! Magically transform after it serve and not valuing her as the woman, do n't respect her, do I... Atlantic to the Pacific judgement of the litter magically transform after it will hardly change, Yes does. The Pacific was, it shouldnt matter have all slept with 50+ people at a age... 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